So I think I have established that I do not have a filter on my mouth. Pregnancy makes this even more of a problem. Things that my brain is mulling over that should not be available for public consumption just fly clear out of my mouth on the wings of hormones.

Mostly these things have to do with morons and their moronic activities.

There are things that I do not see as good ideas. Stopping in the middle of a hilly, winding road at dusk to observe woodland animals falls into this category.

This is inviting an accident and I frown upon it.

Much of the time there is also feeding of said animals involved and it is most often from a bag of processed junk. Don’t get me wrong—I am a huge fan of processed junk myself, but last I knew there were not Dorito bushes and Pringle trees in nature. If there were I would certainly know about it and would have several in my yard, for goodness sakes. I would have a regular harvest of Oreos and Twix bars if they could be cultivated.

Fireworks dispatched for no apparent reason is also a phenomena I can’t wrap my head around. When I was a kid we watched fireworks on the Fourth of July, the end. I wasn’t even allowed to hold a sparkler until I was old enough to vote, let alone dream of launching my own display. There was a troop of bad kids that would sometimes let of M80’s in the park down the street from my house. Oh, the scandal. And in high school a firework or stink bomb, set off by others of course, got me out of a few classes here and there.

These days we have fireworks for every holiday. I don’t have any complaints about the organized displays that bring the community out to watch and oooh and ahhh. Those are lovely and a good time can be had by all, but I’m unnerved by the pointless, barrier of sound breaking fireworks that have found their way into the hands of yee-hawing, out-of-town folk at one in the morning. There is no visual display, only a loud kaboom that pops my ears and makes my dogs go insane for ten minutes. A few years ago some neighbors had tents all over their lawn, a large bonfire,and copious amounts of adult beverages. Up the street there was a similar group of folks. At an ungodly hour of the night the Hatfields and McCoys began their firework assault and it went a little something like this: KABOOM. Yeeeeehawwww.; KAPLOW. Woooohooo. And so on. There were some hot damns and hallelujahs mixed in as well. If only I’d had a fiddle. This went on for hours with all the neighborhood dogs, including mine, howling and barking after each repercussion. I was certain someone would lose a finger or catch a tent on fire. I refrained that time from screaming from my yard and from marching over and demanding a cease-fire.Everyone should get one stupid pass whilst on vacation. Only one, though.

There is a parking issue that some people have that irritates me. I’m guessing that they think their car is so special that they are somehow allowed to park across two spaces. This doesn’t impress me one little bit. I wonder what goes through their mind? Do they just think it’s A-okay to annoy the rest of the universe by being a parking space hog? I need me a book of civilian tickets that I can issue for idiotic parking. I’d be busy all day, every day, writing tickets for people that should clearly have their licenses revoked for being morons. Maybe I’ll try a little experiment and put a sign up at a desired parking spot that says, “2 Hour Moron Parking,” and see if there are any takers.