Have you ever noticed just how many signs are lurking about?

There is a sign for just about everything and everyone; many make me laugh out loud and equally as many disturb me. I actually thought about trying to observe and obey all signage on my travels as research for this column, but frankly, I’m neither obedient nor dedicated enough to do such a thing. Plus, signs within the five mile radius I travel these days would get redundant and not hold my attention for very long at all.

The common sense kind of signs really make me wonder. Should people that work with or around food really need to be reminded to wash their hands while in the restroom? Or is the business of reminding them really to make the customers feel better about things? Should anyone need to be reminded by a generic wall plaque to wash their hands when preparing to exit the lavatory? Here I thought that all people walking the earth could hear their mother saying, “Wash your hands with warm, soapy water,” every time they are within a mile radius of a sink and a bar of Dial.

The new flashing sign on the way into Old Forge is my new favorite. The things that need to be spelled out to people never cease to amaze me. Tourists entering town apparently need to be scolded into not feeding wild animals. I just have to wonder who thinks it’s a good idea to offer a four hundred pound black bear a snack.

“Hey kids, look at the ferocious wild animal with brute strength and a set of claws resembling Freddy Krueger’s razor blade gloves. Shall we see if he’s hungry? Do we have any Chex Mix left?”

And there they are, grabbing the camera on the roadside to record said kids being maimed or eaten. And let’s not forget that they are stopped at dusk in the roadway with no flashers on to increase the level of danger.

The deer are fed so often that they are in competition with each other to see who can reach the tourist with the bag of chips the fastest.

“Oh, you go ahead my friend. Those people have Cool Ranch, whereas I prefer the original flavor of Doritos. I’ll just wait for the next one.”

The deer crossing signs make me laugh a lot, too. Not one of the deer on my street cross where they are supposed to. They are a disruptive, jaywalking group and cannot, like me, be trusted to obey signs. There are a few of them that walk side by side on the edge of the road and resemble a gang. I steer clear of them. They look like trouble.

There is another sign I have noticed being overlooked lately. People seem to think that the red octagons at intersections are optional when they’re on vacation. They, last I checked, didn’t mean slow down or assess the rate of speed necessary to beat the oncoming cars. They mean stop, halt, cease your forward motion, hold your horses, time out, etc. A similar issue is the apparent confusion between the exit and entrance. You go in through the entrance and leave through the exit. The directional arrows and Do Not Enter/No Exit signs are pretty good indicators of the path that should be followed. I’ve been thinking all these years that these signs are pretty simple but clearly, by my observations, this isn’t the case at all.

I sometimes feel like Einstein on my day to day summer travels, what with following most of the signs. Just when I’m feeling good about it I observe someone blow through a stop sign. As I follow behind I see what the big rush was all about. They are pulled over up ahead of me to feed the deer ...the jaywalking gang of deer, that is.